You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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