So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
