he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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