My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
