i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
