Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
