My cat gives me a boner
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
