My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
