That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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