Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
