Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize