How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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