I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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