I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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