Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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