when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Still dying that you shit outside
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
