I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
