Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
