I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
