i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
