All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
