:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
