nut hugger
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this beer tastes like vomit already
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
