I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i will never coherently bang her
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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