gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am spending my child support on dildos
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this just has baby written all over it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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