people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
