Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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