He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's great music for shaving your balls
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
