woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
