Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
