Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
