Having a random hookup so left but love u
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
