I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
More tranny stories later!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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