Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
