Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
