How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
