It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
