Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
