I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
