Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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