end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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