whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
