There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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