does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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