My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
