We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do herpes really smell.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
