Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
