She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just cut my nipple shaving
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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