Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize