two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
