Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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