at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
