Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
