Porn is love you can see.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
