I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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