i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
