I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
