before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
