Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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