Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize