you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
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your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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