who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
