Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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