My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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