They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need water and some morals
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
