I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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